This week I emerged blinking into the light from my essay cave. My essays are (finally) done after not a small amount of blood, sweat and lots of tears. I’m not exaggerating one essay actually gave me a papercut, as if causing me deep rooted psychological damage wasn’t traumatic enough. If I wasn’t already in counselling, I would be after essay hell. But, it’s over and I can know turn my full attention to the other looming stressfest, the wedding!
I jest. After so long, now that the wedding is close I feel like I can finally begin to get excited. But I’ve got so many half- finished posts about the wedding and a little over two weeks to go. In order to ease my blogging conscience, here’s is a bumper edition of all those little wedding details I never quite got round to blogging about.
The flowers were easy. I saw the bouquet I wanted in a wedding magazine (back when I was reading wedding magazines). We went to the florist. They said they could make it. We ordered a trail buttonhole. It rocked. We booked them. The end.
A little boring? OK I wanted a hand tied, colourful, vintage bouquet full of fragant smelling herbs and flowers. Reading over that sentence again pre-wedding me would have no idea what I was going on about. My how times have changed. I did briefly toy with the idea of a brooch bouquet back when I convinced that I had a inner DIY goddess waiting to get out. But I reasoned a) it would be as expensive as a floral bouquet, b) heavy so I couldn’t really throw it unless I wanted to brain my guests c) it wouldn’t smell of anything other than mental. Smell is so evocative. So that decided we got our florists to make a sample buttonhole and it was gorgeous, see:
When it come to the centrepieces our flower budget was minimal and it seemed a lot of money to spend on something that we would only enjoy for one day. So, we’re having pots of herbs on all of the tables instead, which my mum is tending like they are due for the Chelsea flower show. Afterwards they’ll form a mini herb patch in my parents back garden.
My dress has been delivered and it fits! This is a MASSIVE relief as I was actually having nightmares about this. My dress fitting (and our first tasting more on that below) happened the week I got a stinking cold and had to deliver a presentation at University. It should have been so fun but I was trying to stop my brain falling out my nose and calculating the exact dose of Nurofen cold and flu to dose me up between catatonic and ridiculously manic. All I wanted to do was to retreat to bed and watch Come Dine with me. Instead I woke up, met with our photographer, venue then drove for an hour and half to Chichester to try on my dress.
So when I tried the dress on and it fitted, I had to restrain myself from bursting into tears in the shop. I blame my cold, not that fact that I am a massive sap that cries at the drop of a hat. They had to take it out slightly at the hips but in at the waist and boobs. Oh yeah, and chop about a foot off because I am a shortass. I also had the neckline altered because I am fusspot. But when I tried it on the second time it had suddenly become my dress and I could see myself gliding (not falling, never falling down the aisle). My parents are picking it up today and I will have to restrain myself from trying it on, again and again and again. I love it so.
So a couple of months before the wedding we were invited with our parents to a tasting at the Elvetham. There we got a chance to try three options from each course as well as much wine as we could glug. This was the bit HWSNBN was really looking forward to. I half expected to see the date ringed in his diary in thick red pen. If it had been any other week I would have been ridiculously excited too. Instead I was so sick and fazed, so I barely drank a thing. As neither of my parents-in-law drink and my mum is not a heavy drinker it was left to my dad and HWSNBN to taste the wine and, boy did they. So after much debate the wines were chosen and we moved on to the food.
It was gorgeous and given that I may be too fazed on the day to taste the most expensive meal I shall ever buy it was good to taste everything and finally find out what aubergine caviar is=yummy. To provide more of spread in the evening we’re having wedding cake instead of pudding. Sorry, wedding guests. But I can tell you that the pudding we are not having is yummy. By the time we got to pudding our manners had gone out of the window (I blame the wine) and everybody forgot what they had originally ordered which is how my dad ended up with a poached pear instead of the lemon tart he ordered. Dad has never really been a fan of puddings, the weirdo. So just as he was struggling to eat the last bite of his poached pear, the waitress emerged with a lemon tart. If the waitress had put that in front of me I would have fallen to my knees and kowtowed in gratitude. He looked as if somebody had put a poo on a plate in front of him. I am obviously am my mothers daughter. When we had finished giggling my mum and I split the lemon tart. And it was amazeballs.
We’re having the same photographer who shot HWSNBN’s sisters wedding. He has been an absolute dream to work for and I know he’ll get some great pictures. At our briefing meeting he called me one of the most organised brides he had ever met. Which I think might be a polite way of saying I’m a bridezilla. I blame the nurofen cold and flu.
HWSNBN and the case of the top hat and tails
HWSNBN has many talents, but dressing himself not one of them. You may remember his habit of wearing shorts and Prodigy t-shirts even in the snow. On our first date he turned up unshaven wearing a stained t shirt. In short, fashion not is his forte. To be frank HWSNBN is as out of place in a clothes shop as the bear above is in an office. So when we booked the appointment to go suit shopping, you guys, I was very, very worried.
So I was prepared for battle. My father, his father, best man, HWSNBN, his mum and I walked into the suit shop. It was a tiny, low ceiling place, crammed with endless variety of suits from tuxedo’s to full on tails. The two owners knew so much suits and with practised ease had HWSNBN stripped and into a variety of suits. We found the one and he looked so handsome. It took more time to find the perfect waistcoat to match the suit and then it was time for the dad’s and best man. In total it took little over an hour. So different from my own epic quest for the dress.
M n S’s finest. Next!
My first wedding nightmare
In which I dreamt that I was late and also lost for my own wedding. Thanks, subconscious. Also QUIT IT
Weddings things I have done but I cannot tell you about yet. Some of which I cannot even mention because they are TOP sekcrit as my inner 13 year old would say:
What’s still on the list? Oh, only a couple of small things like:
Hen and Stag do’s
This weekend. My little sister is organising mine and I know it’s going to be absolute carnage. I cannot wait!
We’re completely broke so we put this off and put it off. And now it’s just over a fortnight until the wedding and we have no rings and no money to buy them. Eeek. All I want is a plain wedding band but I think it’s probably going to be in silver. Its fine, I already have my gorgeous ring and I would marry him even if it was with a Haribo ring. Mmh Haribo ring.
This is my own fault as I insisted we write our own personalised vows. I am an idiot. So post hen and stag do we’ll be sitting down and writing something meaningful, goddamnit.
See above re broke. So dearest reader where can we go for a fiver and half a packet of pork scratchings?
Two weeks left. Eeeek!